healing my anger ... one person at a time ....

We are living in a world where we enjoy so much freedom and yet there are so many of us who are afraid to speak out the real truths that lie buried deep within our consciousness.  I am not just talking about spiritual truths but the truth of our own lives - what is acceptable to us and what is not.

I have lived most of my life being bold, but not in the way that mattered and counted the most.  I was very bold fighting for the underdog, trying to save other people, coming down hard on the bullies, but when it actually came to what was really hurting me, as an individual, I could'nt speak.  Usually, I waited till the suppression limit overflowed itself and then the dam would burst!!!  Anyone who knows me closely, knows this to be the case. Everything would come out as a barrage of anger, bitterness and resentment.  I was afraid to speak because of hurting other people's feelings.  But dealing with my emotions was a painful process.  I used to cry so much.  Till I discovered all of my chronic pains stemmed from repressed anger. And then I decided to do something non medical about it.  I started my own brand of inner healing.

Anger is a monstrous animal.  You become sub-human and animalistic in your thoughts and behavior.  Some people pride themselves for their anger and believe it is "self righteous". I know I did! But anger is anger and it cannot be romantacized or glamorized or be called any other name. There is tremendous energy involved and that amount of energy can be channelised to create a huge space within.  Imagine an energetic earthquake taking place within resulting in a wide gaping hole ... wow! ... the amount of space that would be available to make new Self discoveries would be phenomenal!!

Everyone has their own personal technique to use and heal.  Mine is distance.  I move away completely in the opposite direction because I need space. Lots of space. The replay of events go on for a period of time and I allow it to do so till the memory of it fades away. Forgiveness is the key.  I forgive myself for believing all of these perceptions about myself. I forgive others too not for them, but for myself. It makes me feel at peace.  And when I feel I am safe to come back to "civilisation", I begin to break down the barriers one by one.  At some point I follow it up with some kind communication so that I see it through to the end. Every issue has to have a closure. And then I am done.

As I always love to say, I am a work in progress.  I feel a lot less angry and everyday I am dealing with what was my most natural response in the past, by changing its direction and course.  One person at a time.

Prayer for Inner Peace

Into Your Presence I come Dear God to start my day and nourish my life.

I open my heart to You Dear God and let Your Presence fill my being. In your Presence I am peaceful, poised, confident and strong. I relax in Your loving care Dear God and release all my cares to You knowing that You are upholding and sustaining me in all that I do.

As I keep my heart and mind centered on You Dear God, I feel Your peace infusing my entire being and keeping me secure and serene.

To You Beloved God I release all sense of turmoil and restlessness, nervousness, fear, anger and impatience.

In the comfort of Your Presence I am content, fearless, peaceful, calm and centered.

Beloved, Sweet God, Your Presence calms me and quenches my parched Soul.

Into Your Presence I do come.

NAMASTE

Spiritual Abundance

Many years ago I had decided to buy myself a fabulous diamond ring (not the above one!).  When I wore it, I felt pretty prosperous and wealthy for sometime ... and then I forgot I was wearing one ... and soon I forgot I owned one though I still have it with me.  My mother mourned my "ignorance" and said I had no "value" for the good things in life!!

Life is Abundant no matter how I look at it .... just like the multifaceted diamond .... nothing can make a dent in a spiritually abundant life. Value lies within. 

Namaste!

~ Lavina ~ 

Creative Freedom

Namaste!

Consciousness is what one needs to have the human experience on this planet.  Everything rises and falls in consciousness. Everything is born, lives and dies in consciousness.  The kindest act of love I have been nourishing myself with is to break away from world beliefs and norms.  I do not believe I was created to simply go round and round on the karmic wheel.  I was made for more. Much more. We were all made for more. We are Creators.  We have untold freedom to create, build, replenish, restore and live peaceful lives. Focusing on everything that keeps the human spirit moving and growing into its spiritual nature is what we were created for. And the more we align with Super Consciusness, the more help we get in creating that which our Soul would have us create. As I begin to use my mind more consciously, I find myself moving away from that which is not enhancing me in any way.  I don't reject anything.  I just bless it to carry on with its own path, while I move on with my own.  I want my consciousness to move towards purity and Super Consciousness.  Every moment is an opportunity to do just that. Never mind what anyone else believes or says.  We each have freedom to experience life exactly as we desire.

Creating consciously,

~ Lavina ~

Namaste!

 Empowering thought for the day:

 It is not necessary to prove yourself to anyone.  

My Shadow Side

Namaste!

The Shadow Side is my best ally and friend.  Instead of resisting all that does not feel good within me, I use it like a compass to direct me to my Light Side which always stands right in front of the shadow.

Without the Light there can be no shadow.  I embrace all the parts of me that feels left "out in the cold" to fend for itself, like the sad part, the angry part, the hurt part, etc. .... and talk to it because it is the part that I need most for an enlightened perspective to all my issues in life.  It has all the answers right there in its darkness.  

To be a Spiritual Warrior one must realise that the only war there ever is to fight, is the war we wage on ourselves. Peace is the complete acceptance of all aspects of the personality - the battle field called hell, as well as the Garden of Eden called Heaven.

There is a third part - the part that is beyond heaven and hell ..... 

Life Happens!

~ Lavina ~

Maintaining Inner Peace

One of the most profound ways to to maintain Peace within the consciousness is Meditation.  Meditation in any form that feels comfortable for me is what I go for.  

Writing

Writing puts me in a meditative mood because I am focussing on what I am doing in the moment. I am not writing a bestseller, I am just writing what is bubbling in my heart right now ... it could be anything ... it could be something profound, philosophical, humorous, sad, angry, anything ... when I bring my mind to paper, it helps me to see clearly where my energy is going. Then I can do something about it.

Stretching

Exercise is a big chore for me. I really don't care for it at all, but what I do love and enjoy is stretching.  I stretch and stretch in various ways till I feel all the heaviness has left my body. My mind becomes clearer and I feel lighter.

Diet

I am on a very simple diet. No frills and no fancies. No starving either. Just good old plain Indian food - rice, lentils and vegetables.  We love fruits, so there is plenty always available at home. 

Water

This is a big effort for me.  I don't remember to drink enough water.  As a reminder, there's a bottle of water in every room. It certainly helps.

Recently I found a wonderful website that teaches meditation.  It is simple and covers everything.  I keep dropping and adding to my spiritual practices because there is always a new way to do things everyday.  This is the link if anyone is interested:

http://www.edgarcayce.org/content/the-readings/meditation/free-online-meditation-courses/

To Know More, One Must Feel Less

Namaste! Greetings for a very blessed and joyous Sunday.

Peace is a state of mind that spills over into your form. Consequently, every cell begins to feel at ease and is okay with just about everything.  It is said that each Soul is a cell in the Body of God.  I think about this statement very very often and I find myself going off on a star trek with just this outrageous suggestion.  Imagine if I am a cell in the Body of God, and here I am living a life that feels far bigger than a cell with my very own universe, cosmos and world, then can you imagine what is going on within my body? I'll tell you. From the spiritual perspective, an explosion of Heaven! Think about it. I cannot think of anything else but this and it is this truth that motivates and spurs me on to expand my consciousness.

Now imagine the same about each cell in your body??  It is no wonder all the Ancients say everything is within. What goes on within, goes on without.  Is that how we can see God's awesome creation of  art spread across the landscape of our minds?  ... simply because all of it is lived by trillions of cells within?  

The mind person will toss it over and over in his/her mind trying to make intellectual sense of it just like a scientist. But a Heart person operates from a completely different zone.

Fyodor Dostoevsky, a Russian novelist, short story writer, essayist, journalist and philosopher has this to share and it feels so resonant with my thoughts and feelings about my own personal ongoing Self discovery.

"To know more, one must feel less, and vice versa… Nature, the soul, love, and God, one recognizes through the heart, and not through the reason. Were we spirits, we could dwell in that region of ideas over which our souls hover, seeking the solution. But we are earth-born beings, and can only guess at the Idea — not grasp it by all sides at once. The guide for our intelligences through the temporary illusion into the innermost centre of the soul is called Reason. Now, Reason is a material capacity, while the soul or spirit lives on the thoughts which are whispered by the heart. Thought is born in the soul. Reason is a tool, a machine, which is driven by the spiritual fire. When human reason … penetrates into the domain of knowledge, it works independently of the feeling, and consequently of the heart."  ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky ~

Life Happens! ... without effort!

~ Lavina ~

Gratitude Is What We Are

Namaste!

"Gratitude is what we are without our story" 

~ Byron Katie

I truly feel deeply grateful today for this new found Peace that has finally stopped being so illusive.  It is too precious to loose for anything in this world.  There is no comparison.

Most of all my stories have been "queried" away through Self Inquiry. 

How do I know my stories are over or that I have forgiven myself and others concerned?

Very simple.  There are no more cherished memories or stories to hold on to or hang on to.  There is no pull or sense of regret when I am reminded of the people concerned, only peace and wonder at the experiences shared "good" or "bad". It is very safe to say my life lessons have been learned and I can move on without looking back.  I'm over with feeling bad about anything.  The "feeling bad" emotions were like little irritants that constantly made me feel depressed. I have had too many of those "feel bad" and "feeling guilty" emotions.  It's regressive to even think on those lines anymore. If someone is still holding on to grudges, its not my story to drop, its theirs. 

My job is to be Who I Am as much as possible and to keep and maintain Peace within myself no matter what the cost.

Life Happens!

~ Lavina ~

The First Signs of Inner Peace

Namaste!

Peace is something every single human being strives for.  Therin lies the confusion.  The things that are of heaven need not be striven for. No effort is required; only a quiet willingness to "become" in our minds what we already are in The Divine Universal Mind: Eternal. Everlasting. Blissful.

For the first time, ever, I am feeling truly peaceful within. There's a sense of calm that has settled down in the pit of my stomach. It was there that all the rumblings of powerlessness and pain seemed to exist. I have given up the fight to "be" anything.  I have accepted everything about my Life exactly as it is. I have been engaged in deep self inquiry for some years now, refining the quality of questions in my mind, and it feels like the main big obstacles about my past has melted away and I have stopped feeling limited by my past stories. I am not that person anymore. Where did that person go? I don't know. I just "queried" her away. She has gone into oblivion.

And no one, including myself especially, can resurrect her again.

Life Happens.  

~ Lavina ~